i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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