I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
