So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
