My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
