Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
