if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
