Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
