he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
