Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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