So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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