haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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