oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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