awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
you inspire me to be a worse person
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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