Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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