I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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