it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I party with great urgency now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
