Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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