i would punch a child for taco bell
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
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