Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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