Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
