HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize