Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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