even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I think people are normalizing furries
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
