Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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