:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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