My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
