Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize