Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
