I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
