What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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