yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
They are going to name an STD after you.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
