Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
