Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Your penis caused this!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
