very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
