Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We have started to decorate penises.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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