Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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