last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
