He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
