So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
