Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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