What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
