Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
