this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
