He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
