This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
