And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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