I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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