i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
