This girl is more easily done than said...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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