I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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