I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
