This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
