My first STD was from a foam party
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
