People in love make me want to vomit
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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