Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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