you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
